The hope, uncertainty, selfish attitudes and happiness

I started to apply jobs recently. I send the applications to some universities. Last time I worked at colleges with low pay. This time I try universities whom have better pay if having doctoral degree.

Who don’t want higher pay? I want, I can have not only “cuti-cuti Malaysia” but also “cuti luar negara”, more savings on cars and house investments.

I’m typical or ordinary working adult. #reality #dealingreality #salaryiseverything

And not to forget, I enjoyed the job of nature as a lecturer last time-little interaction with the colleagues/not much office politics and static workloads assigned at the early semester rather than ad hoc tasks like administrators did.

But I’ve no idea on the university environment, people and structures. Hoped I can get chances to join the university. 

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I learnt new thing: Key Selection Criteria (KSC) when UK and Australia based university required its’ responses.

This is what I get after Google reading:

“KSC is the statement related to knowledge, skills, abilities and experiences to do a specific job”

“Thinking about specific examples or situations where I can demonstrate my knowledge, skills, abilities and experiences”

“The examples or situations can be based on working experiences, studies, extra-curricular activities and volunteer works”.

I had spent 4 days to write the responses of KSC. I tried my best to describe the knowledge, skills, abilities and experiences to do a lecturer.

I finally understood without working experiences and certain level of educations, I can’t describe with details.

Indeed, KSC designed to match the position requirements with the applicants’ knowledge, skills, abilities and experiences.

I shared KSC writing feelings with Naruto. She said “hur?!? Why so hard?” I replied “I’ve no idea but what I know is it arise migraine”.

HAHAHAHA.

_ _ _ _ _

Receiving co-supervisor notifications in giving thesis corrections’ comments. Her message really surprised me.

Under her supervision for 1 1/2 years, I never ever saw her acts so fast in giving comments on the thesis I emailed one day ago.

I assured myself she maybe tied up with the workloads. To my minds, 2 feedbacks for the thesis in each semester were quite common.

Until now, I still remembered the disappointment when supervisor returned the thesis without any comments except in the first and second pages.

But this times her actions blow my mind especially read my writings and pointed out the mistakes.

The feeling of “biological mother” is back. I’m not the “stepchild”. At the end of meeting, she expressed a statement which I can’t forget.

“I want you to be my assistant soon so you have to submit everything to the internal examiners”

This is the reason behind her actions. 

_ _ _ _ _

(Calling to the UTAR Sungai Long campus)

“Isn’t HR division?” 

“How’s my application status?” 

“Hold on ya. Your application is not successful”. 

“Why?” 

“You only have Master of HRM right?”  

“Yes”. 

“And UTAR don’t offer HRM courses”.

I was rejected by the UTAR on the academic post I applied several months ago. Someone said “what you want is not what you get”

It’s so true in this situation.

The irony thing is vacancy advertisements posted in UTAR website required PhD/Master/Bachelor degree’s qualifications.

It not mentions priority was given to the PhD qualifications. But the HR officer looked down due to Master degree qualifications.

Plus, UTAR don’t offer HRM course is not true. It has actually.

WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT THE 

HELL!!!

  

FUCK IT!!!

WHAT DID IT WANTS???

The tears streamed down my face. 

_ _ _ _ _

I guess all the not so smooth application process, unknown future and the supervisors’ behaviors changed me into spiritual persons.

I burnt the holly sticks and lighting candles many times every day. No one I can talk to and they were not interested in listening to the worries and rants.

Buddha is the one whom I found I can talk to. In front of Buddha, I can be the true form of myself. I wouldn’t be judged.

And I believed Buddha will help me.

Holly sticks became energizer to lift my spirits and souls. While holly sticks were burned, I enjoyed a moment of peace and quiet. 

“Anyway, here’s the Alor Setar outing

 day to lighten things up”

Nasi lemak& teh ais

One thing I had changed- love hunting for roadside nasi lemak since the nasi lemak were served on the banana leaves which gave extra aroma and fragrances.

Alor Setar, Jitra and Changloon’s nasi lemak vary in terms of prices and taste.

Nasi lemak of Changloon were slightly expensive than Alor Setar and Jitra. Nasi lemak in Alor Setar, Jitra also fulfilled my important criterion- the sambal.

This sambal was fiery and slightly sweet. I found it quite appealing. I could say it was the best sambal I had eaten in October.

The new bread I wished to try-Roti Palembang.

McDonald’s Thai fish burger.

Thai fish burger bun is soft and fluffy.  

The fish fillet is thick, filled with flavors and juicy. It’s worth to note that the mixed vegetables were so crunchy.

Purchasing Ginkgold tablets at Chinese herbal store. Initially I want was Ginseng Bu Nao Zhi but the tauke Chinese herbal store recommended Ginkgold tablets were better.

Ginkgold tablets

A customer talked with me when the tauke took Ginkgold tablets for me. Here’s the conversation:

Customer A: “Ah Moi, you know kah, 

this tauke is the medical doctor”.

(Me is in unbelievable face)

Tauke: "HAHAHAH. I’m not the 

medical doctor. I tell you with my 

experiences".

Same things happened in my hometown. Rural folks addressed one of the tauke Chinese herbal stores as “Tua Loktor” (i.e big doctor)

He prescribed medicines accurately because of his experiences. When any diseases got no solutions, rural folks seek “Tua Loktor”.

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Ending this post with the Indonesia song I high on lately- “Asal kau bahagia”