Turning Three O Thoughts

I turn 30, this year.

Don’t know where I get the courage to reveal my age “officially” in the blog. I think I’m truthful to it. I don’t want to hide anything in the blog.

Plus, Mama once told me “age doesn’t matter. Even you not disclose your age, your face will tell everything.  In the twenties, face skin supple and gives the healthy glow. In thirties, hyperpigmentation arises. In forties, more wrinkles and lines”.  

One Singaporean actress, Zoe Tay who actually looks like her age. Unlike other actresses, she hasn’t had botox and fillers.

Zoe Tay

She said “I’m pretty contended with what I have today”, “It’s not so bad getting old”, “I’m quite happy with the way I’m”.

So, I surprise to found that passage of times leaves more wrinkles beneath her eyes when she smiles.

"For me, she is the role 

model of aging naturally. She is not 

afraid of aging. This is what I should 

learn from her".

I certainly didn’t think I’ve pocket of thoughts at THREE O, mainly about humans and life. Here’s 4 of them:

#1. Nothing is permanent

I grow up believing eternity. There has eternal life, eternal love, eternal friends and eternal profit. It’s just a myth, the belief nurture in the thoughts, hoping it realize in one day.  The truth is nothing permanent. Almost everything is transient. There’s a quote “time change, people change and life change”.  A girl break up with a boy by saying “you don’t earn well, I don’t see my future with you”. After 3 years, the boy becomes millionaires. A girl loves a boy with nothing. Few years later, he gifts mansion to her on their marriage anniversary. A restaurant with many patrons and requires booking in advance. It shut down after 2 years. The university mates took the same class, we’re on the same recreational clubs, and we love the same drama. But we do apart and change because we have nothing in common. She gets married while I have the career driven single life. These losses make me realize. People come and go. They don’t stay forever, knowing that they temporarily cross my life path. Of course, they will interact once a while, but they are never be the same again. Nothing is permanent, don’t you think?

#2. The grass isn’t greener on the other side.

I spend lots of times wish to have what I don’t have. If I travel to Taiwan, I’d wish to travel to Europe and U.S. If I earn RM 2000 per month, I’d wish to earn double. If I have a garden, I’d wish for a forest. I always want what I don’t have. In my experiences, I desperately want something but once I get it, I don’t seem to want it anymore. And I’ll move to the next things in the wish list. Many have experiences it too. I’m not alone. I compare and think other people have better life. Their moons are always full and the stars are always brighter. I then feeling depressed, anxiety and insecure by the belief I have so little. It results I want more and more, feeling what I have are not enough. I soon realized how wrong I’m. Don’t I know others fight for or work hard for something that no one knows of? A businessman sacrifices his or her personal times to earn billion dollars. The businessman spends many times to water his or her grasses. There’s no such thing life are better on the others. Appearances are deceiving. After all, I learn to stop chasing greener grass and devote times or energy into making my grass as green as it maybe.

#3. People intentions are Never Pure

Anyone and everyone I interact with or having conversation in the current life wants something from me. They just use me as a means to an end. Every time dorm neighbor walks up to me to clarify study problems and request for articles. While some neighbors’ friends are not around, they invite me for outing. I’m not with them if their friends are there. The supervisors what sapp me, it is mostly for favors. Bloggers who endorse certain brand products reply followers’ products questions. They have no times for the followers’ not-so-important questions. NGO friends want me to join them because they need free labors as much as possible. Have you or anyone you know interact with others without benefits? My answer is absolutely “NO”.  Naïve and innocent me once believe people interact for having more friends, but I’m going to think the reason and rationales behind the interaction nowadays. My instant reaction if people approach me “what he or she wants from me?” If I’m familiar with that people, I can detect his or her intentions. For the new people, it takes me for a while to analyze his or her intentions. People interactions are like the business world-using each other. I remembered one of friend’s descriptions-I scratch you and you scratch mine. As times moves on, I learn to accept people interactions are never pure. Possible in one day I like them too to approach someone to further my own goals and success. This is all I need to know.

#4. People has the need to put others down

I meet the people whom put others down. They tend to see the negative aspects of others while overlook all the positive. Besides seeing, they criticize and comment the negatives to give them a sense of superiority instantly. It sounds bitter and can’t help. It happens everywhere. Senior peers look down upon young peers for being immoral and immature. Young peers look down upon senior peers for being old fashioned and rigid. Singaporeans look down on Malaysians incapable to speak in English fluently. Malaysians feel superior in earning Singapore dollars than other Malaysians counterparts. Rich people look down on poor people for being uncivilized. Poor people look down on rich people for being arrogant and greedy. All these can be the way of society bring us and the characteristics of the people. What am I going to do when someone put me down? First, I try to improve myself and prove him or her wrong if a superior person look down on me. This is exactly what Mama has taught me “做人要有骨气”. Second, if an inferior person look down on me, I sympathy his or her ignorance and pray Buddha to give him or her more wisdom. Third, if I’m look down because of unreasonable reason such as religion, nationality and race, I’m not going to argue with the “idiot”. Idiot will downgrade me to their level. 

Will these thoughts will be changed, transformed and collapsed? Let see how.