I Did It !!! I Pass It !!!

I passed my Phd Viva on 21 September 2017, 7 days ago. In the Phd journey, I had pondered countless times on Phd Viva, which is the final stage.

No Phd candidates can achieve this stage if supervisors don’t let them to submit because supervisors know Phd candidates are going to fail in justifying the thesis.

This is what I have seen in Phd peers; some in the proposal defense, another in data collection process while others analyze their data.  All these require pains, trials, hardships and tears lasted for 3-6 years.

Truth to be told, I’m quite grateful and lucky to reach this stage on 36 months, within the funding time frame as well as my own Phd process planning.

One week before Phd Viva, supervisor organized mock viva. I did my best in answering all the questions. The supervisors gave me feedback based on the oral performance.

This is very odd exclusively supervisors devoted their times to critically commented my oral performance and answers. This never occurred. It was the first time and also the last time in the Phd journey. 

Anyhow, mock viva taught me to express my answers confidently and honestly. Supervisors suggested the appropriate formal attires. They cautioned me to get ready a copy of the thesis, pens and notebooks.

In the following days, I practiced my answers. I would walk around the room reading the thesis and then memory it. I stood in front of the mirror vocalizing the answers. I wished to use the suitable body gestures and eye contacts.

I liked this preparation. Perhaps this preparation sounds like nothing, but I didn’t want to leave anything to the last minutes as this caused more stress which I hated.

One day to go for Viva, anxiety and apprehension grew as the time closer to the Viva. My mind conjuring all the possible thoughts on “I don’t pass the Viva”.

Though I don’t pass the Viva, I gained hugely from the Phd experience: learning how to conduct the research, publish articles, and meet the academicians in the conference.

JoJo’s words, “let it go” reassured me too.  Viva result beyond my control and what I can do is minimize it to the small corner in the brain.

"Breath. Breath. Breath".

"Calm. Calm. Calm".

"And believe".

On the day for Viva, I arrived the school early, 8.30am and directly went to the Viva room. I ready to confront the fate.

The table, laptop and projector were already set up. I then placed my thesis, notebook and pens I needed on the table.

My co-supervisor came after 15 minutes. She was light chatting with me about the slides presentation and what would happen in the Viva.

After that, chairman, external and internal examiners walked into the room. I started to feel nervous and anxiety. External and internal examiners made an effort to reduce my anxiety -by asking my background followed with jokes.

The use of background as opening questions was the good way for warm up. Straight after warm up, it was presentation session.

I spend 7 minutes to present my 22 slides. Chairman commented how efficiency my presentation. Once the presentation done, it was 2 hours questioning and debating from external and internal examiners.

What struck me were none of the predicted questions being asked. That meant I had to think on my feet. Some questions were challenging while others were easy and simple.

Here were the questions I vaguely asked about as I didn’t remember the details of the questions:

“Explaining why you select construction industry as your target sample?”

“Why you want to use SmartPLS?”

“Some pages in your Literature Review read like a textbook. Try to synthesize it.”

“How come your underlying theory not included weakness?”

“Mediation test has partial and full mediation? What’s your opinion?” 

“The main reason to choose the research instrument is based on reliability value instead cited by many authors.”

I was told the Viva had finished and I had to wait the verdict until they called me back. 10 minutes outside the room felt like about 1 hour- the time freeze by. 

I then went back to the room and being congratulated passed with minor corrections. 3 months were allowed for them to be made.

Phew!!!

It was enormous relief. I couldn’t help but think what an amazing way to complete this journey after years of intensive study and persistence and 13 days before my 30^th birthday.

This was what I wanted for, and the expected outcome from the main supervisor. External and internal examiners went through all the amendments they wanted me to do in their report.

The best of all on the report: “The thesis very easy and interesting to read. Not much language related problem”

The worst part on the other hand: many constructive comments that will take times-searching, analyzing and digesting articles again. On top of that, internal examiner will check the amendments.

“One more step, Lee Chin”.

Co-supervisor said to me upon learning my situation. Such the true words. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

The phone ring was started once I shared the good news with the main supervisor. She was not with me on the Viva day.

I heard the most wonderful two words from her –恭喜.

I posted the good news in the WhatsApp family chat. Everyone say congratulation. HAHAHAHA. I was the recipient of many congratulations texts on that day.

I surprisingly found that the relief didn’t happen more than 1 day while I struggled in making corrections currently. I found myself had inevitable writer blocks.

Below picture accurately express how I felt.  

By the way, I’m not saying this to sound cool.

Adrenaline rushed on me to make the corrections. The so called “mistakes” were due to the subjective matters. Supervisors, internal and external examiners had different personal opinions, interpretations, point of views and judgments.

Writing definitely different after all.

I realize the implications surviving from Viva. That is, no celebrations until the amendments are accepted and the university’s official notifications have been confirmed upon on me.

This is my screen of slides presentations, staring at it and pretending to be calmed.